Many of us often would remark how little time you have with your loved ones. As our society navigates the magnitude of this pandemic, which swiftly forces us to change the way we behave as social isolation, physical distancing, and shelter in place orders keep us inside our homes. Now that we are approaching nearly a month of Chicago quarantining, we find ourselves having the opposite challenge. Instead, we may find ourselves restless and wondering when all of this will end. We’ve managed to adapt and shift with daily changes and measures put into place for our safety and protection. A trip to get groceries or anything outside of the home can be physically and emotionally draining. It’s OK to feel a range of emotions as we take this day by day. After all I look at this like a marathon, not a sprint. 

Here are a few tips and resources to help you and your children all quarantine together:

Boundaries and Structure:

If you haven’t set them or are having a difficult time holding to these boundaries, it's OK. First give yourself some grace, after all we are dealing with a lot right now. Second, re-evaluate what is working and what is not working in your family structure. Have conversations with your spouse or partner to establish what this looks like. Then invite your children in on these conversations. Discuss school hours, electronic use, and household labor. Who is responsible for cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. Create a new daily routine together, so everyone understands expectations and roles. If you haven’t already established a calendar or daily chart to help ease this process, it’s not too late! Continue to check in and make changes as necessary. Most importantly, don’t forget about setting a schedule for the weekends too.

Space and Dosing from the family:

We often assume other people may have the same thoughts we do when it comes to taking some “space” or having “alone time”. Take some time to define what having “space” or “alone time” means to you.  Set some parameters around what this means for you and help your children define what it can look like for them. Often children feel like they are missing out of activities and have a tough time carving out time for themselves. Yet, this is important for everyone and they may need you to model this. It’ll be easier to get them on-board when they see you or their siblings doing something alone. 

Communication and Relationship Building:

Even during times of relatively low stress, positive communication is difficult to maintain. Take a breather and check in with yourself. 

1. Try to use “I statements” with your spouse and children. For more information check out this website: "I" Message, "I" Statement

2. Be aware of your tone 

3. Use reflective listening and try to validate feelings

4. Use humor! We need this now more than ever.

5. Maintain connection with friends, colleagues, and family members. Schedule time for a phone or video call. If you are feeling wiped out with all the calls, creating a card or letter can be a fun outlet as well.

Move Your Body:

Find ways to get up and move around. If you are able and can remain a safe distance from others get some fresh air. Take a break for a walk or run. There are several free workouts available online, so take advantage of these options. On average, adults require 30 minutes of moderate exercise a day and double that number for children. Get them involved in daily movement and make it fun. Everyone will be able to release some tension and improve their focus.

These are unprecedented times that will cause an increase in stress and anxiety. Try to shift your focus on supporting one another through challenging thoughts and feelings. Lastly, find things you can control and remind yourself that this will pass. 

By Jean Hausmann, LCSW